Dec 11, 5:14 PM:

Sitting at work trying to update my website. Not sure how I can rename a file. Work has been whatever. About to be more whatever. Hoping to be able to get some rest tonight. Have to trudge home first though.

Dec 12, 12:34 PM:

All week I have been wondering if I am headed down the correct path. The more I think about it the more I doubt it. Recently got a promotion. Feels more like a punishment than anything. Everything at my job is starting to feel like that. The lack of support. The disrespect. Just over it. I am grateful but it seems like a harder ask every day. Often I fantasize about working at a pizza shop. Working as a welder. Working at a place where I am no subject to people that have no care for politness or honor. Maybe I am overthinking it. I know I am. Just feels like there isn't much to do where I am at anymore. Not in terms of work but of growth. Just seems like everything moving forward from here is pointless and stupid. Ashamed to be such a downer, but it's the truth. My real life has been whatever. Not enough time to do anything. But still locked in to my physical goals. I am almost out of obesity. Probably will be out before the year even ends. I am proud of myself for that. It's been such a big effort. Hoping that once I get myself in that better category I am able to focus more on more fulfilling things. Work that is actually valuable and not only that, but also scalable. And financially valuable. I've seen worse things produce better results, so I think I just have to start really changing how I think about that kind of thing. Feels like I am missing a key to the puzzle. I am trying everything I can, but I have to try and do more. The Stellarfive say tell me that I must be more defiant, seek more adventure, and honestly practice being more composed. I think I am doing a decent job at these. At least that is what I tell myself, but if I am not happy? Something is wrong.